Dear Kingston, my sweet boy,
I don't know where to begin. So, I will start at the beginning. I have dreamed of you since I was a child, planned for you since I met your Daddy, and loved you with every ounce of my being since the very first moment. There was never a time in my life where I didn't want to be your mother. I have wanted this forever. I was born to be yours.
I met your Dada when I was 15. I may not have known many things at that innocent age, an age that seems so far away now, but I did know one thing. I knew we would get married someday and have you. Shortly after I met Daddy, I had a dream about you. You and Daddy were standing in Glam*Ma and Grumpy's kitchen waiting for me to get home. I watched my older self walk in and greet you, my angel boy. You had a head full of bright hair. Your sweet toddler self reached for me from Daddy's arms, and everything felt perfect in the world. When I awoke from that dream, I missed you for days. I knew that someday I would see that little boy again, my little boy. I couldn't wait to meet you.
I thought about that dream often and after Daddy and I got married, we couldn't wait to start trying to have a baby. In secret we agreed that we wanted a baby boy first, but once you were conceived, I thought maybe you were a girl. Once we found out that you were a boy, our sweet little man, I knew that you would be the little boy from my dream. I don't know how I could have ever doubted! We were always meant to find each other.
I couldn't wait to meet you. My pregnancy with you was beautiful. I didn't care that I had heartburn all day every day for 10 months or that my face, feet, and ankles swelled like crazy. Every movement and kick gave me incredible joy, and I loved every second of carrying you inside of me. I never want to forget the way it felt to first feel your tiny flutters, the tiny first movements of a boy who will someday move mountains. I never want to forget the anticipation of the moment when we would first meet you.
My labor with you was long, hard, and incredibly painful, but I would do it over and over again to bring you into this world. I would endure anything for you. You are more then worth it. When you were born, my heart swelled so much I thought it would burst. I never thought it was possible to love another being as much as I love you. From the second our eyes met, I knew I could never be without you again. You are perfect. You are everything.
The day after I gave birth to you, they took you out of our room and into the special care unit. Without you near me, I couldn't breathe. I know this is how I will feel whenever you leave me. When you leave for your first day of Kindergarten, your first sleepover, your first job, I will be a wreck. When you are grown and too big for me to pick up and rock in my arms, I will still think of you as you are now, my precious little baby. No matter where you are, I will always be waiting for you, thinking of you, and wishing you were here with me.
But for now, I am soaking in every single moment of your babyhood. I am relishing every nap spent in my arms, every "Mama!", every hug and kiss. I am taking the time to stop and appreciate each nursing session, each time you reach up to pat my face or twirl my hair, relaxing so easily in Mama's arms. I am falling over every smile, every new accomplishment, and every sweet little thing you do. I am head over heels for you my little one. You are such a complete joy.
For all the time I spent dreaming about you, I don't think I could have ever imagined such a special baby. Your personality is like no other. You smiled from the very first week. Your laugh is infectious and can instantly make me melt. When I hear your giggle, my heart fills to capacity. You are so beautiful; I can't stand it. You are such a funny little boy. You never cease to amaze everyone with how charming and animated you are. You clap, laugh, shake your head "no", talk up a storm, and do wild gestures. You will do anything to communicate and get your point across!
You have a mind of your own, just like your Mama. You have always known exactly what you want and I admire you for that my baby. Kingston Burke does not like to be told no! Even in utero, you were stubborn. You are smart and strong! The things you accomplish amaze me every day. I am so excited to see your out- of-this-world personality develop even more! You are the most social baby I have ever met. You love everybody and are quite the charmer. The ladies can't seem to get enough of you! When I see you put a smile on everyone's face, my heart bursts with pride. You make me so proud baby boy.
I hope so many things for you in the future. I hope that you are kind and caring. I hope that you love to read and have a life long love for learning. I hope that you have a passion for life and that you surround yourself with great people. I hope you are happy always and successful in everything you set your mind to. I hope you know that I will always be here for you, my love, to guide you, comfort you, and support you. Always remember that you are so very loved.
Thank you for making my life the very best it has ever been. You have given me the most amazing gift. You make me the happiest Mama in the world every day that I get to wake up and spend my time with you. You are an angel on Earth, the sweetest boy there ever was. You are the best baby, and I couldn't have been more blessed. I can't wait to experience all of your firsts, all of your joys, and all of your milestones.
Thank you for making me a mother Kingston Alexander. You are so very special.
I love you forever and always baby.